2005-12-29

Reminds you that the memories will fade...

Today was beautiful, and in fact, this entire week has been beautiful. Full of color.

I went out with a few friends the other night. We all ran into Alex, who's also back for the break, and we sat at Starbucks Coffee for a while.

I ought to get new batteries for my digital camera. There are things I'd love to take pictures of and to capture. Things that make up moments, and I've always been such a sap for those moments.

Here at home I dance with ghosts of the past, talking of things that were and certain, irreversible deeds whose skeletons continue lingering in the nostalgic fog.

Despite everything, I feel a great need to move on. There's always a happy ending...there should be, here.

I went to college, and to a great extent I was running away from everything that was here. Away from Alastair and other staggeringly painful memories.

Yesterday I was searching around old photographs, and found that there was still a picture of Al helping my little sister with her homework. I froze.

Seeing pictures of someone you once loved is just as difficult as seeing them in real life. Five months ago, I would have crawled into a corner and sobbed, but yesterday I looked at the picture a few times and put it away again.

It's been difficult. And forever is such a short time these days, that the grains within the ocean sand doesn't have time to engrave our stories for the eternity. Old promises rain down at times, and even now, my heart still aches.

But the story usually continues, and this was simply a chapter: part to whole.

So I run back to music, and to writing, and to sobbing over the little things in life, because truthfully, I really am that sensitive.

The past's scent is still fresh. The future lies entrenched in the hazed cobwebs of distant clouds. I think the trick is...not to think.

aeka at 5:24 p.m.