2004-07-05
I am such a capitalist
"I feel quite perturbed", I begin to say.
"Why is that?" Asks Hope quietly.
"I'm a liberal, yet people mistake me for a right-winger because of the clothes I wear--they just base it on my appearance, which is in no way related with my political leanings."
She looks up from her coffee cup and eyes me for a moment before speaking:
"Well, shopping at J. Crew and drinking a Pellegrino every chance you can get certainly does not help."
"I suppose you're right," I say, after picking at the fruit on my plate. I then continue, "Should I become communist?"
Her eyebrows then raise up, and she smiles before saying--in the most pleasant voice:
"Now, dear...let's not get these silly ideas into your head. I enjoy taking a piss at the Texans just as much as you do, every once in a while, by declaring my allegiance to the commie party in order to piss them off. However, you and I both know that you are too much of a damned capitalist to be communist."
I bite my lip, and begin to speak:
"Do I really come off as some raging capitalist? Oh my..."
"Oh yes...absolutely. Then again, I suffer from the same vile. Listen, if the proletariat needs my help, I will be more than happy to inquire if Banana Republic has a "small" Che Guevara t-shirt that I can purchase."
I now begin to laugh hysterically, and I finally do realize that she is right.