2008-11-16
yes or no
Yesterday I had a long conversation with Brie through our Gmail chat. I loved catching up with her and finding out what's new in her life. I think that, by the end, I felt comforted in having had the opportunity to talk to a girl who met me in the second week of high school in Mrs. Petz' Algebra I course.
At some point I told her about Al's sudden attempt to claw himself a place into my new life.
"It's good that you told him you were married" she began, "I personally don't think any man with whom you were romantically involved (even in the slightest) should rear his head into your marriage"
I was a bit startled. "Well, you can have friends".
"You can tell yourself that; but, you've got to ask: 'Is this something that will hurt my spouse?' and if the answer is 'Yes', then, don't do it. No one will respect your marriage the way you do, and I don't have any hopes for a man who was once a lover or a boyfriend. Especially not Al!"
The conversation eventually moved on to another topic, but last night after talking to Phil I found myself going through a list in my mind and asking, "Would this hurt Phil?" and some things, painfully, were a "Yes".