2004-06-01
Alacrity surges out of lethargy
Can bliss ever dance with sorrow and intertwine itself within its being? A new and beautiful feeling has sprung just this afternoon, and it has come with the new sunset. The light presides over the treetops, burning deep into the leaves with penetrating luminescence. I feel warm and filled, with a leaden heart--it is completely sorrowful, yet filled with bliss. I cannot explain it--bittersweet, soft, seductive, nostalgic.
Sometimes this heart can feel filled to the brim with something--translucent yet heavy. I quietly mouth some words that echo within my heart and my heart cannot help but slightly jump at the sound of the # 1 piano nocturne in B Flat minor. Why do I listen to this piece so often? My heart jumps at the sound of the opening tunes with incredible alacrity. My grey soul swirls softly like the light smoke that breathes and gracefully emerges out of a slow and consuming flame. I change from grey to the colour of the Saharan sand--I love this perplexing feeling. Leaves my soul tingling inside...
How I love this--amazing, indescribable, something that only comes once. A once-in-a-lifetime kiss--passionate and filled with desperate desire. Expectant, soft, a walk through quiet cobblestone streets alone with only the lampposts to keep you companies. A painting that has been given life with the thick pastels and warm-intense colours. A madman in your own world, Chopin.
I wonder if he closed his eyes and felt the music enter his soul--his fingertips lightly pressing the creamy keys. The poet of the piano who seduces me--how I love him, Chopin. The long-dead pianist who has infatuated the young histrionic aspiring writer.
Now I think of dreary moors and helpless soliloquies--dampened skin with shrill screams into the night. The pressing of the ivory piano keys becomes more intense and my life is recited through notes dancing and lingering about in the air like fragile smoke. Alacrity emerges through apathy and lethargy...alas, we regress once more, and my heart dampens. I feel his soul through those sorrowful and deep-tuned keys--melodies of happiness and despair. Those elegant nocturnes breathing life into everything.