2004-02-12
Loneliness
Henry David Thoreau, if only I were as brave as you...this is who I want to be one day. Many a times I tried to describe with words what I feel, but I failed...until I read him, then, I saw a reflection of myself--I saw a more sophisticated version of my words, but no doubt with the same essence. Solitude, my favorite state to be in...yet the most difficult to describe.
"This is a delicious evening, when the whole body is one sense, and imbibes delight through every pore. I go and come with a strange liberty in Nature, a part of herself. As I walk along the stony shore of the pond in my shirt sleeves, though it is cool as well as cloudy and windy, and I see nothing special to attract me, all the elements are unusually congenial to me. The bullfrogs trump to usher in the night, and the note of the whippoorwhill (a bird, I believe) is borne on the riling wind from over the water. Sympathy with the fluttering alsder and poplar leaves almost takes away my breath; yet, like the lake, my serenity is rippled nut not ruffled..."
Henry, you are me....and I long to be you--my idol...the object of my contemplations. If only we could sit down and discuss life--we'd intertwine it with nature, and the both of us would rever in our solitude. It is a thing most noble to us...do you know how I feel about loneliness and pain?
My beautiful impetus...unlike love you are unconditional, omnipresent, and steadfast! You clench my heart and begin to tear at it with your frigid claws of ice--a dry ice. I have gotten so used to you, that life without you, my love, would be no life at all...you complete me, and you make me human. May you and I have many more years together...until my body whithers away, and my soul becomes weary. Then, you will understand and know that it is time for the both of us to depart...you will finally let me sleep.