2004-01-02
Summary on 2003
Today seems to be one of those days that is just extremely lazy. Yesterday certainly was--first day of the new year and all. The weather has been surprising me so far. It is relatively warm outside,and the only thing which this weather inspires is to take a nap. I did do a lot of work on my book yesterday, let's just say that I felt a bit more inspired than usual. The words flowed out naturally (something that has not happened in quite some time), and I felt a deep sense of relief from writing. I cannot believe at how far I have come with this book. It does require a lot of work and attention, but work and attention is something that I am willing to put forth into this project. I have many things to do before my vacation ends. This may sound a bit masochist (especially when you look at my situation) but I am very happy and anxious for school to resume once more. I was speaking to Brienne yesterday, and I told her that 2003 has been my most overwhelming year. 2002 had been my happiest year. 2003 brought stress, depression, and who knows what else with it. I only hope that the storm will calm down, and that there will be smooth sailing from now on. I have been so far trying to get back into the rhythm of things. I need to get back that balance that I lost a while back, and perhaps get into Buddhism again. I am so tired--physically and spiritually. I suppose that all of the stressful events that have been building up just came to a collapse, and maybe that's what caused my depression. I am really trying to deal with it, and am seeing that going out and associating with people really helps. I just need to be in a lively environment so that I don't fall back again. But as far as depression goes, September, October, and most of November were hell on earth. I do not want to repeat that again. Each time that I catch myself drifting, I have to put myself back on track. If I don't save myself, then who will? I ask. Well, I am going to go and write in my book now. Toodles...
--Bronte