2003-12-20
The truth
What can I say, I absolutely love writing in this diary. Some days, I feel this need to express myself through words. Actually, words are the only way in which I can accurately express myself. It's not that I have anything interesting to say, except that I will just write about the random thoughts that come into my head.
I wish that I could live on Walden Pond--I admire Thoreau so much. What a strange man. Jared was telling me the other day that Thoreau was a pitiful man, but I vehemently disagree with him. Some people just do not understand that happiness needn't be a consensus, and it doesn't need standards in order for it to be legitimate. Indeed, he was a happy man, and I envy him for that. I aspire to one day be as self-fulfilled as Henry, and perhaps be content with simplicity. Given that I am not one to give into superfluities, but I do feel that I am lacking something. That's exactly what I want to rid myself of, so that soon, I will be content to live among life's simplicities. I wonder, what is life really. If there is no God, and all of this is just consequence, one tends to ask oneself that question. I have come to only one answer: life is simply what we want it to be. There are no rules that need to be followed, but we do as we please, because at the end, we are really not being judged. We are our only judges I suppose, and it is we who inhibit ourselves. Everything is the same--the same events, the same aspirations, and it has come to the point were we think that it's actually normal or "natural". It is not natural, but rather, it is conventional. While some will spend the term of their natural lives being content with conventionality, others will fight against it because at the end they know that conventional thinking and a conventional life is what kills us slowly. It is what drains us of our life. So I'm going to go off on a limb and say that Thoreau was unique--not because he wanted something in return for his uniqueness, or because he felt that the world should pay him back for "sacrificing" his prime to live the life of a bachelor, but because he realized the great truth. No one needs to posses any level of rare intelligence in order to see that truth.